Wedding Tribute

Instead of a regular blog, I'm just going to post here the words that I spoke for Julie and Sara's wedding. It was a little bit long, but it was very encompassing of most of what I feel regarding them and their marriage to one another...



"They say that relationships take on a life of their own in some ways. That a relationship becomes its own being, which requires attention, nurturing and respect for its own ability to grow and thrive. If this is true, then I feel especially honoured to be able to stand here today in front of all of you and give a testimonial for this relationship that we are honouring today. The reason is because of the fact that I have had the opportunity to be there from the birth of this relationship throughout the growing maturation of it over the years.

In that sense, I believe that today is the day that we are celebrating the adulthood of Julie and Sara’s togetherness. Today, I take the analogy of the quincenera or the bah mitzvah, the day that a child becomes an adult. Because truly, the love between Julie and Sara has grown, developed and matured over the course of years. And it has developed into something that I am proud to say that I have known.

It’s been eight years, and it is difficult to wrap your head around what exactly eight years signifies in a relationship like this. I think that we so very often cheapen the value and the lessons that are inherent in any experience by placing tags of years on things like this. But just to give some examples of how much the union between these two people has changed over the years, I’ll explain some of the major events that contributed to the shaping of this unit.

I look back and see so many things from that first, tenuous meeting at a Task Force table in the back of an Ani Difranco concert all those years ago. I remember Sara’s struggles with school, the years of manipulation and harassment she experienced from her church, including her excommunication, and the fact that she grew to overcome it all and be able to stand on her own. I’ve seen Julie through the Task Force’s largest financial and structural struggles, as well as through its period of struggling the most with its values. Where she’s been torn and uncertain about where she stood with the organization and whether she should continue along with it. I’ve been able to witness this couple through the development of friendships and professional undertakings, some of which have since been dissolved and others which have thrived, with many of you being here to bear witness for these two today. I have had the honor of being present at the birth of two children, seen them endure through some of the most terrifying medical crises and decision-making processes that any parent would ever have to go through. I’ve seen them through the growth and development of their children into school age, to see them move into their own rooms and beds, and begin a longer process of growth and development. I’ve been there to witness these two people through some of the best times, and I’ve also been there through some of the worst. I’ve seen them through the involvement of a live-in coparent who honestly has probably acted as just as much of a strain on the relationship as he is a support.

And to see this event as a culmination of what has come before, as the evidence that the relationship between them has come to maturity to be recognized... to see that it has thrived through all that has taken place before, I can only use that itself as evidence and testimony that I look forward to living through and bearing witness to all that they are able to do together in the years to come. Mazel tov."